Shift 3

This may have been my best shift so far. The staff team was super fun; I busted my first fire, led a cross country hike using a map and compass, and took on more therapeutic and logistical responsibilities.

One theme that continued to come up for several clients this past shift was the return of “feeling”. Many in the group had been using substances to run away from severe anxiety and/or depression. While escaping negative feelings, drugs made them numb and aphetic to everything else in life. Being off substances, away from distractions of the modern world, and in an emotionally safe environment, they began experiencing emotions again. These were generally positive. Clients talked about being surprised at how they were actually happier than they had been in a long time, despite living in the wilderness with lots of work, structure, and supervision, and without the things that used to make them happy. The return of “feeling” also included those that what we typically classify as negative. Grief, guilt, sadness, regret, etc. In life we often want to rescue others and ourselves, from such emotions, but without really facing and feeling these things, we can’t heal, move on, and improve.

To me, this is why wilderness is so powerful. Grief from the loss of a parent, guilt from treating parents and others poorly, and pain from rejection hit straight on and there is no swerving out of the way. It’s raw and real. However, nature and genuine community have an amazing way of comforting and providing a type of spiritual balm to help cleanse and mend.


This is what I am making fire out of these days. We bust an ember, place it in a nest, and then blow it into a flame. When you start a fire you get to name it. I named my first fire "Ronny".