Shift 5 - Step back scorpion, it ain't spring yet!

Shift 5 was crazy, heartbreaking, and great. I returned to the all guys group I was in last shift.

On Tuesday our staff team came into the group with two clients walking out. One of them decided he wanted to walk the 80 miles to leave the program and the other just wanted a break from the group as they were making too much noise to see any wildlife.

On Thursday, another group member decided to walk as well. This one hit the group hard. This client was dear to the guys, and everyone knew, including himself, that if he left the program (as he had done the six programs prior) that he had absolutely nothing to return to except homelessness and drugs. Despite pleas from his peers and persuasion from staff, he also decided to walk the 80 miles out of the wilderness.

The weather was beautiful all week and it felt like spring had finally arrived with a few scorpions and mice making an appearance. That thought lasted until Monday, when it got bombed by intense wind, rain, snow, and hail.

Despite setbacks, some pretty amazing things happened this week as well. Four of the guys were on solos for three full days and nights. This was an empowering and life changing experience for each of them (though they probably wouldn’t want to repeat it), teaching them self-sufficiency and how to be with themselves. A client opened up about extreme childhood trauma and felt the burden lessen a little. I was the second person he had ever told. Staff brought out a guitar and the guys played and sang around the fire. Two clients graduated from the program. Their growth and clinical sophistication has been remarkable to watch. I ate the best steak of my life, an elk steak harvested near Bryce Canyon.

I guess most weeks could be summarized this way: heartbreaking, hard, and uncomfortable, but still beautiful things happening. I am now hoping to paint my nails, re-gain some femininity, and, of course, climb.